The Ultimate Turkey! …and now there is a cooking entry in my blog…

I am thinking that if you are following my blog… it might be used against you some day in court.  If you can follow my writing you might be as unbalanced as I am.

A few months back for Thanksgiving (the Canadian one in October), I got myself a turkey deep fryer.  I have wanted one forever but considering I didn’t know how to cook, my wife was never in much of a hurry to spend the money.  Worse yet, if I did know how to cook, there was no telling when I would ever do it around the house.  Using my track record for doing other household chores it didn’t seem like a good investment for my wife to say the least.

The Perfectly Cooked Bird

Despite reason, proving she might be as nuts as I am, she went ahead and let me get the deep fryer.  If you haven’t seen one of these things, I recommend you try it out, or at least come over to my place for some turkey.  it probably cooks a turkey in 1/3 the time as an oven but it sears the skin so that all the juices stay in the bird during the cooking.

To top this off, the marinade injections and seasoning rubs that you apply to the bird get seared in as well and give the meat such unique tastes that you simply can’t get without diligence with the basting syringe that would drive me mad.

So thanksgiving came and I got the opportunity to cook two turkeys.  One was pretty well done but one was a little pink at the leg joints.  We ended up having a lot less dark meat for that one.  But neither had the flavor I was hoping for.  A couple of weeks ago I got to make one for our Scout Christmas dinner and it was even more pink and had to be thrown in an oven after being ripped apart.  I was not impressed.

This gave me the opportunity to talk with one of our Beaver Leaders who used to be a chef and I found out about the way the bone can affect the temperature on the thermometer.  So this week I got to do turkey #4 and #5 and let me tell you that I am having a lot more fun.  Both birds were perfectly cooked.

Needles and Massages

Turkey #4

Turkey #4

Turkey #4 had a lemon juice injection and a moderately spiced rub but the flavor was just enough for people to say that it tasted good.  I was going for great, so not impressed in my result thus far.  My wife thought that she actually tasted lemon in the turkey.  So much for the light flavoring.  Turkey #5 I used a Cajun recipe I found online.  I noticed two things different…

  1. the marinade for the injection was filled with thick stuff… but after a minute in the blender it looked much closer to something I could fit in the needles.
  2. the marinade hurt my nose to smell it.  I thought I was going to kill people when they tried to eat it but wow… it was just the perfect seasoning for the meat… if you liked Cajun seasoning of course.

So this would be a bad time to realize that I am not a Cajun fan eh?  I sure liked the smell and all the ingredients sounded so good.  I just didn’t like the flavor all that much.  For a cook though, it was what other people thought and they seemed absolutely joyed by the tastes.  Win!

Slicing and Dicing

Turkey #5

Turkey #5

So the last part of the Turkey Experience for me was the carving.  I have been asked to carve a turkey a few times in my life and to be honest, I consider it part of being a man.  “Pick up that knife and carve the bird!”  What a simple way to prove your manliness.  Well apparently I had a feminine streak in me a mile wide because I seriously sucked at carving the bird.  So much so that I never thought I would do it again.

My wife, God bless her wonderful soul, suggested YouTube.  It made our summer awesome with watermelon carving so why not turkeys?  Welcome to manhood.  There are so many reasons why I love Stacey that I am not sure I could fit them all in a book, but this blog will give her the credit she deserves for my newfound ability in the kitchen (or back yard as it turns out… deep fryers and flammable stuff like houses do not mix well).

I have to also give David his due… I haven’t actually asked if he minded me using his name here, and until I do, no last name will he have… without David, I would still be struggling with figuring out when to remove the meat from the deep… but now I have nothing but bloodless beautiful birds coming up from the fryer.

Transporting Dead Foul Doesn’t Have to be Cold and Lifeless

Stacey also saved me from trying to cook the bird at the destination.  I was struggling with how to move the deep fryer so that the bird could be warm at the carving table and, again with her help, we lined a cooler with tin foil, set the cooked bird in, wrapped him snuggly and closed the lid.  45 minutes later it was like the bird was coming out of a steam room… a very aroma-filled steam room.

So now, just so that you have an excuse to message me or email me… of even put a comment in the bottom so that I can find your response when I cook my next turkey, please send me your recipes for different marinades.  There are so many online but I don’t cook turkeys every week, or even every month, so it would take me a decade to try them all… heck i might not even have kids at home before I found one I really liked.

I was thinking of trying one I found called the “Italian marinade” because it sounds delicious.  But that was why I tried the Cajun one remember?  Don’t hesitate to send me your seasoning ideas.  I see so many friends posting pictures of these amazing food dishes.  If you can’t cook, then just keep taking your pics… but if you can cook, please share some seasoning tips with an eager beaver.

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One response to “The Ultimate Turkey! …and now there is a cooking entry in my blog…

  1. Pingback: This May be the Dumbest Blog Post I Ever Wrote. | PlanBMentality·

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