Some people are shocked simply because I am such a huge movie fan and such a huge hero fan. While I love comics and heroes, my favorite hero isn’t DC or Marvel so I don’t fit in most molds at any rate.

Some people are going to keep reading this out of morbid curiosity as to who my favorite hero is or why I am boycotting the most expensive movie ever made… most will only end up finding out what a sexist asshole I am.  I would call it preferences.

I don’t go see every movie on opening weekend but I see 10 movies a year and at least 3 of them on opening day. I say Deadpool on opening day with my 16 year old son (so glad that I didn’t bring the 10 and 12 year old too). Loved the movie.  It never occurred to me to blog about it.  I think I said something about it on Facebook ant that was good enough for me.

A Facebook post will not cut it for this movie. This needs a blog post.

So why am I boycotting the movie, no matter how good it is?  And this is not to say that I will never see it, I just refuse to divert any of the $2000 a year I spend at theaters on it. When I see a copy at the library or when it gets posted to Netflix I will check it out.  But I will not pay for me or my kids to see it in theaters.

#3 Casting Problem

Who am I to criticize a casting agent? Who is Jo Edna Boldin? Could she have been responsible for casting Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men? She may have also been responsible for casting Jesse Eisenberg (Now You See Me, Zombieland and Social Network) as Lex Luthor.

While I love Jesse’s work, I simply can’t buy him as Lex.  Gene Hackman? Kevin Spacey? Yes and Yes! Would Jesse stop me from watching one of the most expensive movie ever made? Probably not.

But with a $400M budget you have to admit that at some point they should be begging me for my attendance at a theater.

#2 Casting Problem

Kristy Carlson might have had a part in nailing down Henry Cavill in Man of Steel (I might add here that I was worried about that as well until opening night) but she may have also had a part in butting Ben Affleck in the batsuit.

Again, while I love Ben Affleck (Good Will Hunting, Daredevil and Paycheck), I am unconvinced that he should have even been in the running for Bruce Wayne.  After such amazing successes with Christian Bale and Michael Keaton, and such not-so-smashing success with Val Kilmer and George Clooney, you would think they would know that the character needs acting power and a story ahead of a name.

Time will tell, but I might have been able to go see Ben as Bruce, but not the opening weekend.

#1 Casting Problem

Hard to believe but my number one problem with this movie was in the casting department.  I bet you never would have guessed…

Lora Kennedy may have brought us John Travolta in Swordfish and Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer, Bill Paxton and Sam Elliott in Tombstone, but she may also be responsible for putting Gal Gadot in Wonder Woman’s costume.

I love Gal Gadot in the last two Fast & Furious movies where she played Gisele but Wonder Woman is supposed to be a voluptuous Amazon. While Gal is beautiful, there can be no denying that, she was placed in a role where she needed to fill shoes made famous by Lynda Carter. Lynda Carter was not just beautiful, she fit the bill for voluptuous.

And now you all think I am a sexist pig. Someone is out there comparing me to Donald Trump because he long ago made comments about women’s breast sizes…

A woman who is very flat–chested is very hard to be a 10
~Donald Trump

First of all, thanks for putting me in such great company. I appreciate it.

Secondly, I am not sure that I can disagree with him.  There are guys out there who think a woman can’t be a “10” without having a butt like Kim Kardashian… and I think they are insane. This is a personal preference, it does not mean I am a sexist pig, just a guy who likes boobs. If that makes me sexist in your mind, so be it. If it makes me a pig, then whatever.

The fact of the matter is, I was truly hoping that they would bring Lynda Carter back in the movie to play whoever the new actress’s mother would be. Instead, they choose Gal Gadot and then Nicole Kidman as her mother. Seriously? It honestly almost seemed like a conspiracy against me. One which I am answering by boycotting the movie. I will wait until it is free so that I am not any more disappointed by these mysterious casting decisions.

The end result?

the end result will likely be that the movie makes $260M domestic and $600M. the studio and the world think I am going to be over doubled at the box office but what do I know right? My sexist self-centered choices will undoubtedly cause me to lose a fortune on the Hollywood Stock Exchange (where I shorted the movie big time).

My wife will undoubtedly find out that I wrote this and give me the stink eye for a week but then aside from being the most beautiful woman in the world, she also has the most beautiful breasts in the world so she has nothing to worry about. Me however, it will be a long time until I see anything below her neckline again I am sure.

Proof positive that being an asshole is so far from my control that it really doesn’t matter to me all that much. And I have always told my kids to figure out what they were good at it and excel… and I like to lead by example.