I do not celebrate many holidays and Valentine’s Day is absolutely one of them. It is simply a commercial grab for more of my hard earned money. If you know me, or have read any previous blogs of mine, you are probably aware of how much I love my wife and I used to try to impress her on Valentine’s Day but those days are long since gone from my memory… and she is more than happy with the decision.
I love the idea of a holiday to celebrate the romance that I have for my wife but when I heard someone this week tell me that today was a day set aside to show my love how much she meant to me I was in awe. Is that what you people think? It is no wonder there are so many divorces. If I don’t show my wife how much I love her every day then I fall asleep feeling a little less like a man than I woke up that day. I am not saying that I actually meet this goal. Heck, many nights I fall asleep wondering when the last time I made my wife feel special was. Crap, has it been a week since I did something special for her???
Well rest assured, as upset as my wife gets at me, and you don’t have to read many of my blogs to know that shit happens a lot… she will never go a whole year without knowing how special she is. Let’s say that you made her feel like your queen on her birthday too… and probably Christmas… and if you got kidlets running around you did something on Mother’s day. That is four times a year you went out of your way to make her feel special. If they were perfectly split up, then she sees your love every 3 months. Do you still sound like the great catch you think you are?
On Christmas I try to make my kids feel closer to God, not Walmart.
- On her birthday I ask her what she wants. It is typically not expensive as the love language I neglect the most is “acts of service”, so her birthday present usually involves me doing housework, taxes, cleaning of the garage, etc.
- Mother’s Day typically involves letting her sleep in as I take the kids to clean up the river park of garbage while getting the kidlets out of the house… she wakes up at the crack of noon and joins us for hot dogs or ice cream down at the river… usually with a bunch of youth from our scout group…
So for Valentine’s Day one of the guys at the office suggested I stop off on the way home and buy some flowers for my wife. I love flowers. If money were no object there would be a gardener whose primary job would be to make sure my house was filled with fresh flowers 365 days a year. While my wife doesn’t hate them, I can’t imagine having so much money that she couldn’t always find something better to do than buy a colorful plant that would die in the next few weeks.
Before I get too engrossed in this blog post, I need to let you know that I have no time to proof-read it. I have no time to spell-check it for grammar and the stuff that spell-check lets through. I have time to type, as fast as I can, about why I love my wife, and am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day.
I took a few minutes out of work this morning (yes, I went to the office at 6:30am on a Valentine’s Day Saturday) and talked to an old friend on facebook, and I told Jerri that I would post a blog about this crazy holiday… so I kinda have to now. Jerri has one of those lives where I know I don’t have to wait too long to see a facebook post with a picture of her loving something whether it be some tropical resort, a fluffy puppy or the love of her life. She has fun and I love reading her updates because of her love for life. I am sure that her Valentine’s Day will be quite typical. Charles will spend a ton of money on her because he loves her and what the heck right, Jerri has to eat today so why not kill two birds with one stone. Are they not a typical couple? Of course they are.
Do I think any less of the people that still play the same game that the media pushes on us? Nope. I admire them for their tenacity and the fact that they can afford it. I can’t.
Did I see at least one crazy big bouquet of roses go to some girl in our office yesterday? Absolutely, and I am sure that Laura loved them. Do I hate that society expects me to buy my wife chocolates today? No, Stacey loves chocolate almost as much as I do. Do I shirk at the idea of taking her out for dinner tonight? I am with Charles on this one, I mean we both have to eat today right? What about the dreaded flowers… I have confessed to liking, no loving fresh flowers, so am I buying them today for the love of my life to show her how much I care about her today? No.
If I bought a $60 bouquet of flowers today, my wife would smack me for wasting money. My biggest problem with the flowers is my same problem with them on Mother’s Day… that $60 vase is going to be back to $25 tomorrow. Why wouldn’t I buy them next week to let her know that I care about her not when society expects me to, but when I want to. I don’t just care about Stacey because of a square on a calendar but because of who she is and what she does.
How could a single day of affection show this amazing woman that so long as I am breathing, and possibly longer, I will love her for everything about her. For marrying me twice (that had to take courage… and alcohol). For giving birth to nine amazing children. For allowing her body to go through what it did, nine times! For doing it again even after Russel’s delivery almost killed her. For raising all those children, feeding, clothing, and caring for them for the past 26 years. For loving me when I was not very lovable. For allowing me the freedom to do things that I probably shouldn’t have… For putting up with my blogging, which she is probably already regretting asking me to start.
I just want to say to all those people who are tired of playing the game of spending money they don’t have to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t know… there is a better way.
Don’t get me wrong, my wife was impressed plenty by many of the gifts I got her but part of that impression is the effect it has on her peers. When she got the $160 bouquet of roses at the hospital for one of the kids, she had to love that they were the largest roses and the biggest bouquet that she had ever seen. She gave them to the nurses. I am sure they appreciated them.
So this year, think about what your significant other really wants. What do you feel bad for not doing the past few months, probably since Christmas? What would she like from you right now if you were on a deserted island? It won’t be chocolate or flowers but she would like something that she is missing, don’t be afraid to ask her. And for heaven’s sake if you haven’t read Five Love Languages yet, smarten up and go buy it. Download the kindle app on your phone or computer and download the book today. It will change your life… and hers.
For those of you that buy your wife lingerie for valentines I have just one question, did you buy her a miter-saw for Christmas?
As for what I am doing with my wife tonight? I asked her what she wanted… we will be going to the same place we went for Mother’s Day… in case any of you want to join us for wings and shrimp.